Back From the Dead-Take Two!

I don't care if this has nothing to do with my post, this gif is amazing and will be appropriate for all occasions

(I don’t care if this gif has nothing to do with my post, it’s amazing and will be appropriate for all occasions).

I BLAME TECHNOLOGY!

My laptop was out of sorts the past few months, hence the lack of blogging. BUT I do have something super interesting cooked up (besides my new Wattpad story, that’s an update for another day).

A Teen Experiment. 

You guessed it. I conducted a survey with interesting results. The sample size is 15 people, so it’s not something to write home about, but I am very excited to share it. I’ll post it tonight (probably, I’m having a very large sleepover on Monday, so cleaning is what it’s about).

It’s good to be back!

The Stars In Your Eyes

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Two months later and I’m still in absolute LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE with this cover. Credits to the girl who made it. I’ve posted seven chapters, have 2 more saved, and am still in love with my story. It might seem cocky or egotistic, but writing a book is like having a literary baby. The baby can be difficult and complicated, or the baby can just connect to your heart and write itself. Yeah, not a terrific analogy but you know what-cats are funny. 

Give it a read here on Wattpad:

http://www.wattpad.com/story/16095110-the-stars-in-your-eyes

American Pharaoh

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I’m BACK!

Yes, yes, I’m sure you’ve all been utterly bereft without my winning and hilarious posts (ha-ha) but I’ve returned to cure you of your misery. I was in Egypt, in case anyone was wondering, for the entire summer. It took some time to adjust to the differences there, and I had one hell of a craving for Little Caesar’s (a craving which is no longer existent after gorging myself on 4 slices), but I truly enjoyed my time. There’s something…I don’t know. I revel in America because of the comfort, the safety, the predictability. But in Egypt, there’s just this edge of mystery, of taking your life in your hands. Your time is your own. You are master of your own destiny. And I have a lot of really cute little cousins. Apparently I love kids and the feeling is mutual. 

So, anyhow, school starts in a few days (I wasn’t left with much time to regroup) and for those of you who paid attention to my mathematical misery, you’ll be relieved to know you don’t have to listen to constant bitching, as I’ve decided to take Statistics (aka easy A). 

I’ll post my schedule when I get it. 

It’s good to be back, folks. 

The Stars In Your Eyes (COMING SOON)

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The Stars In Your Eyes (COMING SOON)

Check out my new, in-progress Wattpad Story!

Description:

“You can’t save me.Why do you keep trying?” he whispered. I rested my head against his chest. “Because you’re saving me.” Sophia is starting college in a new state, away from her grief-ridden past. She wants a fresh start, with her cat Poe by her side, and to find her place. The last thing she expected was for a boy with blue eyes and scars deeper than she could imagine to throw her plans out the window

 

***Hope you guys check it out! :)

Anti-Islamic Sentiment & An Alarming Stupidity Rate

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I am so done. I am so DONE with the assholery in people these days.

I blame media. I could go on and on, but for now, for anyone who’s not Muslim who happens to be reading this, let me clarify a few things:

1) Do not believe the people who quote random verses of the Quran and cite it as reasons why Islam is militant and evil and bla bla bla. These people cherry-pick verses, translate them on Google, without ever bothering to figure out the context. I could say, “I shot fifteen of them,” and that alone sounds incriminating. But what I said was, “We were playing laser tag, and I won. I shot fifteen of them. Everyone had to buy me pizza.” COMPLETELY DIFFERENT MEANING, RIGHT? But no, these people pick some verse from Surah that they probably couldn’t even pronounce, Google translate, and voila! They look like they have legitimate evidence to back their claims. Don’t try to argue with these people. Your desk has a higher level of comprehension.

2) If, say, there are 16,000 ‘Islamist’ terrorists in the world, that still wouldn’t make 0.001 percent of the Muslim population in the world. What about the rest of us Muslims? Why are we stigmatized because a few crack pots kidnap kids and justify it because they had some imaginary divine calling? I don’t know what religion those psychos prescribe to, but it’s not Islam. My point is, there are so, so many more Muslims in the world that shop in grocery stores, worry about their homework, if their favorite team will win the championships, if these jeans make them look fat.

3) If you don’t believe in Islam, that’s fine. You are entitled to your faith and your beliefs. But aren’t we entitled to ours?

4) For the people who keep throwing the argument that Muslim women in third world countries are stoned, or lashed, or forced into marriage as soon as they hit puberty: stop. Just…stop. I lived in a ‘third-world country’ for two years. It didn’t work out because of personal reasons, and we came back to America. I’m as American as they come. And let me tell you, I saw no women being stoned, not rivers of blood as the gestapo whipped a sobbing woman. Nope. A little nugget of info: if the cherry-pickers would bother actually understanding the Quran, they’d know it was meant to change with the times. It’s principles and doctrines stay the same, of course. But things like punishment and civil law change. This has happened all over the world. Capital punishment in Europe was outlawed. I don’t think anyone uses Chinese water torture anymore. Most American states have outlawed the death penalty. So if that could change, is it such a stretch that the Qurans punishment clauses are based on era?

5) I’m not going to act like a ten year old and say, “But they did it too!”. Let me just say: Crusades. Salem Witch Trials. Pogroms. Holocaust. Ya know, just to name a few.

6) There are extremists in every religion in the world. There are always going to be wackos who are chemically imbalanced and think a good way to get their point across is to kidnap hundreds of little girls and threaten to sell them into slavery.

7) Almost all terrorists cite political reasons for why they do what they do. They’re unhappy with their government, so they use religion as an umbrella to cause anarchy. Just look at what’s happening now- the terrorist group is unhappy with Western schooling. I won’t even pretend to understand that logic, but it’s not religious. Nowhere in any religious text in the world does it say, “and thou shalt not be taught mitochondria”

 

So…to end this long post, I’m going to post the link to the amazing man inspired me. He’s British, and I can only hope I have his skills someday. Here it is: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10151968433566143&set=vb.128661986142&type=2&theater

Hopefully it works. I’m wondering, now that they scandalous secret of my religion has been revealed, how many people are going to prove my point and unfollow me. I hope not. I really hope people are better than pettiness like that.

I should really start my math homework.

Here Lies Dedication-Do Not Rest In Peace

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I usually try to abstain from posting too many personal things about myself, not because I’m worried there are any Jeffrey Dahmer’s or Ted Bundy’s lurking on WordPress, but because I’m worried that any advice or input from others could influence me enough to make a radical decision, one that isn’t right. But I’m being paraniod, per usual. 

To cut to the point, to the heart of the matter-my dedication has died an untimely death. Let me illustrate how dedication in every aspect of my life has basically vanished, leaving me feeling adrift and meaningless. 

  1. ACADEMICS 

I’m an AP/ Honors student, so yes, I’ve got a slightly above average intelligence. Whoop-dee-doo. I used to love the act of learning, and the straight A’s were an added benefit. I used to read anatomy books for fun. I still hated math, but come on. That subject is Satan. I still got an A in it though, ironically. I guess i got so used to everything coming easily to me that when the time came to step it up-and by a lot, I was ill-prepared. Sure, I’m still thrilled when I do well on a test or get the grade I want in a class, but it’s overshadowed by the fear that I won’t be able to keep it, or worse, I won’t even try. Any and all motivation to excel academically is pretty much again. I know part of it comes from the fact that a lot of my friends are good students, but average. One is busy with sports, one’s busy with art and religion, one’s busy with singing…the point is they have other passions and things to pursue. I have my writing, my stories, but even though’s I’ve lost passion for. Now they just live in my head, only occasionally do the words appear. I know the things I want, a great university, I career that I love that’ll leave me financially prosperous, to travel the world. Each of them wants something different. And lately, I’ve been letting their dreams disrupt the pursuit of my own. 

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Pretty sure ‘acception’ isn’t a word, but whatever

 

       2. RELIGION

Ever since the time my dedication decided to begin a slow and steady decline, my faith has been impacted. The solace I used to take, my strong belief that through the darkness there will always be light I could turn to…it’s been dimmed. My connection with God has been severed by my own hand. It’s foremost on my list of things to fix. Unfortunately, there’s a huge obstacle that I can’t seem to overcome:me and my stupid decisions. 

       3. PERSONAL LIFESTYLE

AKA my weight. For my birthday, I was given a 2 year membership to 24 Hour Fitness- no, it’s not offensive, it’s something I wanted. But I can’t seem to utilize it. And of course, lack of dedication is a problem. My weight nags at me every single day, especially because I’m going on a trip where people haven’t seen me in years. I don’t want to see the surprise on their faces from how much my body has changed. BUT…it’s not only a lack of dedication that’s hindering me here. The gym terrifies me. There are creepy old guys that outright stare at you, even though I’m usually wearing sweats and a shirt, people with the perfect bodies, and trainers hovering over your shoulder every ten seconds. There’s so much judging at the gym, it’s almost like a high school locker room. I want to go, but the anxiety is definitely fueling the little devil on my shoulder.

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      4. Me

Originality. That’s what distinguished gold from silver, a ram from sheep. Everything that makes me me is seeping from between my fingers. My head is filled with music, slang, hashtags, shows…meaningless things. I don’t spend time with my family, or bother cleaning, or trying to learn something new. My passion has been replaced by an all-around numbness. I don’t read any interesting or out there books any more. My determination, my will, was my core. It was the spine that kept me standing. And now without it? I’m all over the place, and I don’t know how I’m going to get myself together. And the amount of shows that I watch! It’s ridiculous! I’ll spend hours watching episode after episode until my head is numb and my eyes sting

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Conclusions:

I’m an all or nothing kind of girl. If I have dedication for even one of the things I listed, I’d have it for all of them. And I know lots of people just say that we should try harder. That’s good and everything, but why would try when you can’t remember what you’re fighting for? Or why? It’s like a hazy memory, and you can’t imagine giving up the ignorance you live in now. 

But I’m going to try, I really am. I’m master of my own future. I’m going to get myself back. It might take a while, and it will be hard. But, in the spirit of Jordan Sparks….

Take it one step at a time.