Are You Freaking Kidding Me?

*giggles hysterically*

Phew. Okay. So I feel really bad that I’ve been absent for WordPress for so long. I love blogging, it’s relaxing, and it never fails to amaze me that there are people out there-not obligated by friendship or living with me- that actually want to hear my take on things. Thanks for that. 

So, recap: I have a best friend, and she’s adorable. She’s obsessed with One Direction, she’s hilarious, likes finding new ways to discreetly flip me off, and verbally kicks my ass if I procrastinate hw. I still procrastinate, but you know, it would take a much higher power to get me to do my math homework. 

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*shudders*

Anywho, Finals are like a week and a half away and I’m fricking terrified. Why am I blogging this at like 4:30 am? Shouldn’t I be asleep, like a good little nerd? Why, the answer is because I took a study break, got distracted, drank coffee, and now I am literally laughing at everything. WISH ME LUCK!

OKAY. I have some beef with New Adult romances (why am I reading New Adult blah blah blah I’m going to be 17 on February 12 and it says +17. Plus at least I’m reading stuff with sexual content than going out and actually doing it. A girl’s gotta have something). 

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Alright, so about these books…WHY THE HELL ARE THEY ALL THE SAME? It’s like they’re following a checklist to make their book fall into the neat tidy NA slot

  1. Characters can’t take a normal amount of time to feel attraction or love, no. It’s like the minute they see each other, it’s like, “You man. Fill me with child.                                                    Image
  2. THE SEX. Seriously? So many of the virgins (YEAH I’M TALKING TO YOU ANA STEELE) seem to ENJOY their first time. And from what I’ve heard, it SUCKS. How could bleeding from having your flesh torn through be ENJOYABLE? I’d be punching him in the face and telling him to get the hell off me. But apparently, first-time sex is like, “Ermagerd, how have I not been doing this since I was 12” . It’s either that, or they were quite slutty *ehm* sexually liberal. The normal girl is seldom found within the sexual fantasy of these books. 
  3. UNSTABLE MEN. Seriously, ladies, PLEASE do not tell me your chill with these men. Sure, it must romantic for a time having an overprotective, alpha-male and whatnot, but personally, I’d get sick of his shit real fast. Nobody, I repeat nobody, gets to freaking dictate what I do or do not wear, eat, go, etc. If I want to hang out with my friends, which MAY OR MAY NOT INCLUDE A GUY (but if you’ve been reading my posts I am a total freak around boys, so my guy friends are few)  your insecure ARSE -oh yeah went British- will not stop me. GET A THERAPIST. And that goes for the women who think that their men will grow out this phase. Take it from a set of fresh eyes-THEY WILL NOT. Men don’t change. It’s like their basic principle, and I even know that, and I turn tomato red when I talk to a hot guy.       Image
  4. THE SAME RECYCLED PLOTLINES. Honestly, if I see one more book about a normal, average girl that somehow gets the hottest guy in the freaking universe drooling over her Converse, I’m going to pull a Carrie (my first Stephen King book, chills people). Us Normal Nancys don’t need a gorgeous guy to be happy. At least for me. If he can make me laugh, buys me chocolate, and lets me rant bout The Vampire Diaries (so excited for the next episode but if the clips are true and Damon kills Matt, the producers will feel the wrath of a wronged teenage girl.) I will offer him my heart on a damn silver platter. Image
  5. GUY/GIRL ACTS LIKE A DOUCHE AND PUSHES THE OTHER AWAY- Seriously! Yeah you have issues and that sucks, but you have someone besides you who actually gives a shit, so pick up your freaking balls/ vagina and start using it! If the relationship, is one-sided, it’s not a relationship. It’s a Kardashians episode.Image

There’s much more I could say (as always), but it’s 5 now and I need to at least try to sleep so I don’t drool on my stinking math book tomorrow. And for any people who happen to be reading my Wattpad book, The Bad Boy’s Dance has over 22K reads! And some of my readers leave the most adorable comments. But that’s a tangent for another day. 

NEW ADULT BOOKS WITH UNSPECIFIED QUALITY-I’D SPECIFY BUT SERIOUSLY ITS 5 HOW THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN

  • This Man series by Jodi Ellen Malpas
  • Fifty Shades of Grey
  • Bared To You
  • One Week Girlfriend
  • Tangled
  • Music of the Heart
  • Tangled
  • Exquisite
  • Leave Me Breathless
  • Knight and Play
  • The Mighty Storm
  • Love Left Behind
  • Wallbanger
  • The RedHead Revealed
  • In Flight
  • On Dublin Street

And that barely scratches the surface.

Still wondering why I never do math homework?

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