What’s YOUR Motivation to Get Out of Bed Every Morning?

Leave a comment with the answer. I’m honestly curious, because sometimes I just lit there and wonder, “What’s the point?”

Logically, I can answer that question a million times. To be with the people I love, to do things I love, etc.

But I wanna hear what motivates you to get out of bed every morning.

Besides your alarm.

Here Lies Dedication-Do Not Rest In Peace

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I usually try to abstain from posting too many personal things about myself, not because I’m worried there are any Jeffrey Dahmer’s or Ted Bundy’s lurking on WordPress, but because I’m worried that any advice or input from others could influence me enough to make a radical decision, one that isn’t right. But I’m being paraniod, per usual. 

To cut to the point, to the heart of the matter-my dedication has died an untimely death. Let me illustrate how dedication in every aspect of my life has basically vanished, leaving me feeling adrift and meaningless. 

  1. ACADEMICS 

I’m an AP/ Honors student, so yes, I’ve got a slightly above average intelligence. Whoop-dee-doo. I used to love the act of learning, and the straight A’s were an added benefit. I used to read anatomy books for fun. I still hated math, but come on. That subject is Satan. I still got an A in it though, ironically. I guess i got so used to everything coming easily to me that when the time came to step it up-and by a lot, I was ill-prepared. Sure, I’m still thrilled when I do well on a test or get the grade I want in a class, but it’s overshadowed by the fear that I won’t be able to keep it, or worse, I won’t even try. Any and all motivation to excel academically is pretty much again. I know part of it comes from the fact that a lot of my friends are good students, but average. One is busy with sports, one’s busy with art and religion, one’s busy with singing…the point is they have other passions and things to pursue. I have my writing, my stories, but even though’s I’ve lost passion for. Now they just live in my head, only occasionally do the words appear. I know the things I want, a great university, I career that I love that’ll leave me financially prosperous, to travel the world. Each of them wants something different. And lately, I’ve been letting their dreams disrupt the pursuit of my own. 

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Pretty sure ‘acception’ isn’t a word, but whatever

 

       2. RELIGION

Ever since the time my dedication decided to begin a slow and steady decline, my faith has been impacted. The solace I used to take, my strong belief that through the darkness there will always be light I could turn to…it’s been dimmed. My connection with God has been severed by my own hand. It’s foremost on my list of things to fix. Unfortunately, there’s a huge obstacle that I can’t seem to overcome:me and my stupid decisions. 

       3. PERSONAL LIFESTYLE

AKA my weight. For my birthday, I was given a 2 year membership to 24 Hour Fitness- no, it’s not offensive, it’s something I wanted. But I can’t seem to utilize it. And of course, lack of dedication is a problem. My weight nags at me every single day, especially because I’m going on a trip where people haven’t seen me in years. I don’t want to see the surprise on their faces from how much my body has changed. BUT…it’s not only a lack of dedication that’s hindering me here. The gym terrifies me. There are creepy old guys that outright stare at you, even though I’m usually wearing sweats and a shirt, people with the perfect bodies, and trainers hovering over your shoulder every ten seconds. There’s so much judging at the gym, it’s almost like a high school locker room. I want to go, but the anxiety is definitely fueling the little devil on my shoulder.

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      4. Me

Originality. That’s what distinguished gold from silver, a ram from sheep. Everything that makes me me is seeping from between my fingers. My head is filled with music, slang, hashtags, shows…meaningless things. I don’t spend time with my family, or bother cleaning, or trying to learn something new. My passion has been replaced by an all-around numbness. I don’t read any interesting or out there books any more. My determination, my will, was my core. It was the spine that kept me standing. And now without it? I’m all over the place, and I don’t know how I’m going to get myself together. And the amount of shows that I watch! It’s ridiculous! I’ll spend hours watching episode after episode until my head is numb and my eyes sting

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Conclusions:

I’m an all or nothing kind of girl. If I have dedication for even one of the things I listed, I’d have it for all of them. And I know lots of people just say that we should try harder. That’s good and everything, but why would try when you can’t remember what you’re fighting for? Or why? It’s like a hazy memory, and you can’t imagine giving up the ignorance you live in now. 

But I’m going to try, I really am. I’m master of my own future. I’m going to get myself back. It might take a while, and it will be hard. But, in the spirit of Jordan Sparks….

Take it one step at a time. 

“This is for Those Who Wait” by Fireflight…..Amen to that, sista

When your a teenager with absolutely no idea what tomorrow will bring or even what you WANT it to bring, you can only hope that good things really do come for those who wait.
On a sidenote, I’m really into this band, I’ll start updating the blog with one song a week that I’m newly into (until I listen to it a million times and get sick of it, of course.) Enjoy, lovelies!

Teen Love- Fact or Fiction?

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I’ll start by saying I’m certainly no expert in love. As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, I don’t date. Quite frankly, I don’t mesh well with high school boys. They call me ‘hypersensitive’ and I call them irritating pricks. I’m not a biyatch-most times, anyway- I just have a tendency to tell you if your annoying me.

Before I go off into a tangent….

Teen love. Does it truly exist? Is love different for adults than it is for us emotional, hormonal teenagers?

Probably.

You see, we live in this fantasy that one day our night in shining armor will sweep us off our feet and away from our droll lives. We still haven’t faced the reality that someday we might have to be the knight, and someday that knight might be in disguise. We have crushes by the boatload, infatuations, nights were we listen to soulful music and wonder why we are so inadequate as to not have the Disney romance.

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Example 1:

My friend Katrina. We met in middle school, at the end of eighth grade. We went to different high schools, because she was a whimsical, free spirit that wanted to become a model or actress. We kept in touch, and I was updated when she went on her first date and got her first kiss from a boy named Doofus. When I met Doofus in person the day her parents were throwing her a surprise party, he seemed…okay. Not funny, witty, attractive, or any adjective to make him very special. But what did I know, right? I didn’t like the guy, and I made that pretty clear.

There relationship sped up…in a certain department. She started doing things she shouldn’t have, and her parents found out. And they called me to try to mediate her, since I’m her ‘level-headed’ friend.

Um, you haven’t seen me when I’m watching Vampire Diaries, there is nothing level-headed about that.

Anyway, she came over and told me how far she’d gone, we discussed it, and she called him while I was there and put him on speaker. The spineless SOB was worried about how his own parents were going to react and kept freaking out and blaming Katrina.

Aw, that’s surely a keeper.

Long story short, he dumped her. She started dating this other guy, Brad. She breaks up with Brad because it ‘wasn’t meant to be’. Admits she still has feelings for Doofus.

So that’s a NO in the Teen Love success rate.

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Example 2:

My childhood best friend who I still keep in touch with, Kelly. She’s been dating Paul for almost a year, and she hasn’t gone as far physically in their relationship as Katrina did in three months. He’s in some type of program that trains teens for the military at school (Not boot camp) so he’s a pretty stand-up guy. He takes care of Kelly, and he’s very protective of her. He texts her like, every hour, to check on her and sometimes make sure another guy isn’t wooing her. That’s the only thing that bugs me about him. How easily jealous he gets. But other than that, he’s a good guy.

That’s a high-five for teen love!

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Example Three: 

My friend Dana. Dana and I have had…issues in the past. Our personalities severely crash. She’s a rule-follower, letter or the law type of girl, and I live by the philosophy ‘Viva La Vida, baby!’ . Amusingly enough, she decided she didn’t want AP or Honors classes because they were taking over her life while I kept them. So why isn’t she willing to live that life to the fullest?

That’s a different rant.

Anyhow, Dana went out with this boy, George, but she broke up with him. At my house. During my sleepover. Over the phone. Apparently, there was no spark and he annoyed her. I discovered he was bisexual later, but she didn’t really believe me. So her first dating experience as a flop, to say the least.

Dana’s reserved, serious, and intellectual. She’s into art, graphic design, and she’s a math whiz. So no, she’s not much of a romantic. We’ve had endless conversations about when she got a boyfriend, and now she finally has a crush.

I’m still waiting on how that’s going to turn out, because while I don’t know the guy personally, Facebook pretty much revealed that he’s popular, out-going, party-loving…pretty much the polar opposite of Dana. That’s not to say Dana isn’t fun or doesn’t like to have fun. But there are different brands of fun.

So I’m still waiting to see how that turns out. Lemme know if you guys want me to post about it once something happens or not.

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My Opinion:

We’re all going to find love someday, in some form. I’m a romantic,  okay? I want to be swept off my feet, find a guy who can handle my many ‘quirks’ and be my shoulder to lean on. He doesn’t have to look like Alex Pettyfer or Ian Somerhalder. He just has to capture me. It should be the same for every girl, but I don’t know if that’s the case. Quite frankly, good looks don’t last. I care more if he can make me laugh ten years from now than if he has a six-pack.

But I don’t think my knight is going to be riding in until college, thankfully. For me, once I make an emotional connection with a guy-that’s it. As I mentioned, most boys annoy , or I’m indifferent to them. So here’s hoping that that won’t always be the case.

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What do you guys think? Is Teen Love Fact or Fiction? Got any advice for my friends up there? 

Leave a comment!

….And We Have a Winner

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Ladies and Gents, 

Tis the season for Homecoming Hormones. Teens, teens everywhere flock to the mating call of corsage’s, couple photos, and a the shopping spree that is bound to ensue. I, being privy to this phenomena in my daily life, have witnessed some very strange things this season that I though I would share with all you amazing people. 

Incident One: The Bathroom Questioner

I was sitting at the lunch tables with my friend’s and Gina spotted a guy wearing a white shirt and holding a (rather drab, if you ask me, but then again it’s rainy today-everything’s drab) bouquet of plastic sunflowers. We watched with surprise as he situated himself outside of the girls bathroom, puppy dog eyes set and lips moving as he likely repeated the words he’d memorized for this event. A stream of girls exited past him, shooting him weird looks. Still no sight of the askee. Five minutes later, one of the girls that had exited returned with a staff member at her side. My friends and I watched, vastly amused, as the boy was scolded and sent on his way. 

I wonder if the girl said yes. His idea of romance was a little skewed. 

Incident Two: The Note

So we all have those guys who opt for cute and sweet instead of heavy and romantic. I was in the class I TA for when my sister handed me a note (if I find it, I’ll post a picture). It read: 

Will you go to Homecoming with me? xoxo

And then scrawled at the bottom:

NO! I HATE YOU!

Incident Three: The Annoying Smart Kid

I’m a nerd. Sweet and simple. But I do endeavor not to be stuck-up. Some people I know don’t have that same mentality, however. 

There’s this one small kid with curly blond hair, block glasses, and the most arrogant voice EVER.  He’s smart and he’s not going to let you forget it. So, when he asked one of my sister’s friend’s to Homecoming by leaving a note on her desk, what do you bloggers think she said?

She let him down gently, though. Something about her Dad’s birthday. The guy probably twisted it to mean that she was so hot for his bod that she couldn’t be around him without wanting to jump his bones-who knows?

Incident Four: The Couple

Ever been with someone who just assumed that you’d go with him to a dance without even bothering to ask you? 

One of my acquaintances is dating this guy- handsome, tall, athletic, and with thick dark hair smoothed back. He’s not bad on the eyes, actually. Sadly, I find him quite irritating. His jokes aren’t in the least bit funny, he’s thinks he’s the hottest thing that’s ever graced the face of the earth, and you shouldn’t be so darn good at that many sports! Plus, I don’t like it when people are taller than me. I’m 5’9” (possibly more, it’s been a year) so tall people make my skin itch. Haha, ironic! Anyway, he’s dating a girl who’s as tall as him (they’re attractive giants). Tayla was dropping a bunch of hints about Homecoming, and they went right over his head! The girl couldn’t be more obvious if she stamped ASK ME TO HOMECOMING YOU BUFFOON on her forehead. 

Finally, she huffed, “Just finish the lab yourself, Tyler,” and stomped off, leaving him utterly bewildered. 

 

 

There are a few more in my arsenal, but I’ve gotta keep some of my generations secrets, huh? 😉 

And because I am thirsting for reads, don’t forget to check out my Wattpad story, please and thank you *flutters eyelashes*

http://www.wattpad.com/story/8185451-dance-with-me

Academia Hysteria

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Hello, oh wise ones of WordPress! I need advice, and where better to look than in a pool of the most intellectual people to be found online (yes, this is major kissing up). 

MY ISSUE: I’m in AP language Arts as a junior, and I want to drop the class. I hate dropping a class because it feels like I’m giving up and not focused on my future, but the worst part is my Dad. I’m aware he wants whats best for me and wants me to reach my full potential. He’s especially shocked because Language arts is usually a cake walk to me. But this is RHETORIC. And I’m falling behind in my other classes. I want to make my Dad understand without making him think I’m giving up, or that I’m weak, or that I don’t care about my future anymore. I just…I just can’t. Sometimes a person gets tired of comparing themselves to better people and wondering what they have that they don’t. 

Comments, advice, thoughts? Much appreciated!!